The Motelona

A package arrived for me today. It was from Hong Kong.

Inside was a typed note that explained the following:
"As the Motelona 158x Brick Phone is very new to the market, no English User Guide is available. Should you have any problem, please contact me at johnny@____."

I've been dreaming of this day for years, and finally it has arrived. I've purchased the largest mobile phone money can buy.


Here is its charger. Did I mention that the battery has a standby capacity of 14 days?

I think it's time for all of you to admit that your cellphones are too small. You have trouble dialing and texting on that tiny keypad. You have trouble finding your phone when it starts ringing. The camera phone feature is more trouble than it's worth. And of course, there's no way to prop the phone on your shoulder if you need to free up your hands.



Well, my phone weighs over a pound.

Some might think this phone is reflective of my general nostalgia for a bygone era. But Gordon Gecko didn't feel any nostalgia, and neither do I. He got it done, and he used a Motorola to do it.

Now I will say something bold: Whoever said that material goods can't fill that void inside never purchased a Motelona 158x.